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7 PocketMonkey Functions You Never Thought Of

Chris Bent

Posted on September 18 2013

There are 12 official functions the PocketMonkey performs. That was just what it was designed to do, far from what it could do. I have since made it my mission to hunt for all sorts of different ways to use the PocketMonkey. Some work naturally and some require the use of another object. I have labeled each with any additional items you may need for it to function properly.

All links direct towards Vine videos demonstrating the use for each new function. 

Incense Burner (natural)

And you thought that hole on the PocketMonkey was just to make him "holey". Stick an incense stick through that belly button for a perfect Incense burner. 

Outdoor Temperature Regulator (requires cup, water, freezer)

The perfect way to beat the heat on a hot summers day. Place a PocketMonkey head first into a cup of water with the "tail" hanging out over the rim. Once the water has frozen, the monkey will be firmly encased in his icy shell allowing you to take it outside and hang it from a tree branch. Position your chair underneath for a slow, icy cold drip on your head. Should you get thirsty, simply tilt your head back and let a few drops fall into your mouth. However, should you have thirst or time constraints, you're probably better off just going inside for a glass of water.

Deck De-Gunker (natural)

If you have a deck that accumulates dirt, filth, crud, gunk, muck and mire, it is good to clean the cracks every once in a while. This allows for water to pass through easier and helps prevent this buildup in the first place. What you need to do is use the letter opener to get down between the cracks and pull it out when you think you have a healthy serving of scuz. Sweep or hose off after and your deck is lookin good.  

Peanut M&M launcher (requires card, M&M's)

The newest innovation in office warfare allows you to launch a devastating barrage of salty-sweet morsels at your helpless target. They won't even know what hit them, until they look down and ask you to hit them again. Little do they know this caloric catapult could be lurking right around the corner, ready to strike at any time, anywhere. FEAR IT. 

Box Cutter (natural)

For daily use, this comes in as one of the most practical functions on the list. Use the letter opener on your PocketMonkey to open packages and quickly break down boxes for recycling. Less dangerous and more effective than scissors, this will make quick work of your next Amazon purchase. 

Fishing Lure (requires fishing pole)

This one has a better chance at catching you a beer than catching fish but hey, beggars can't be choosers. All you need for this is to tie the line through your PocketMonkeys eye and stick a worm on his tail. Sounds like monkey abuse? Don't worry, the monkey is there to, whatever the circumstances. 

Cocktail Skewer (requires olives, glass, booze)

Don't have a toothpick, tiny umbrella or baby plastic sword, don't worry! The cocktail party can commence by using the PocketMonkeys tail to spear your favorite garnish. Its as easy as 1,2, drink to decorate your potent potable with the PocketMonkey. 

That's your list of the 7 newest functions of the PocketMonkey coming in for a total of 19. You can search Twitter using the hashtag #Huntfor100 which I will use as I discover more functions in my quest to get one hundred uses out of this little monkey. This doesn't have to be a solo journey either, so I encourage you to explore new uses on your own and post them here, in the comments, or on Twitter or Facebook for all to see.

Thanks for reading and happy hunting!

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